Toothpick Spliffs

Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?
Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!I don't smoke blunts
'Cause I'm frugal with my dookie
I hock a loogie, spit it out
Then hit the hoochieI'm on bud like Hux comma Rudy
It's my duty to get loopy
On the Buddha like it's bootieI smoke fields
I cold cock craps
I smoke peels
Smoke Robe cough dropsI smoke if it's green
I smoke Monopoly homes
It spices up my life
When the monotony dronesI smoke bags
Smoke bails
Smoke 'till I see trailsOnly time I put it down
Is when I see a female
Just a minor detail
That will usualy passI'll hit that ass
Hit that glass packed
Right with the grassI smoke Greedo
I smoke Kermit
I smoke the weed
'Til it makes me vermitI vote third party
That's code for get high
Pass the Yoshi
To the left hand sideSmokey doesn't like me
'Cause I burn up his trees
I smoke more sesame seeds
Than I was Mayor McCheeseI'm just a cancer ridden MC
Seekin' pain relief
Pass the marijuana
Hit it, hold in, releaseSmokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?
Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!I'll scrape your bong
Steal roaches from your ashtray
I'll rent nice dreams
I'll rent Half BakedI'll eat a box of Frosted Flakes
Because they taste great
Only leads to cat naps
Doesn't lead to date rapeLight the incense
Turn on the blacklight
Steady stressin'
Let's get stoned like stalactitesBreak it out, break it up
Pack it the bag pipes
Get on the PC
And play a little Half-LifeI hit the Apple
And ended up at Applebee's
Went to Wendy's
Went to Denny's
Went to Mickey D'sI went to Crystal
Went to Castle
Went where I pleasedAte more meat and cheese
Than Mr. Dom Delouise
I slept all day
And I got nothing accomplishedJust being honest
I get paranoid and nautious
I get obnoxious
It's not comin' at a constantIt's a pipe
Not a pulpit
Pass it on
Or get accostedSmokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
Smokein' and drinkin' and smokein' and drinkin'
What were we, what were we, what were we thinkin'?
Smokein' and smokein' and smokein' and drinkin'!